11/20/19: Pick Your Problems

11/20/19
Pick Your Problems
By Holly Winter


There isn't one man from my history that I wish were still with. After a relationship is over, it's easy to see the reasons it wasn't right for me. (Verbally abusive. Boring. Mood swings. Politically aggressive. Not hard working. Addiction issues. TV was his best friend. Not ready to love.)

Sure I miss the occasional memory like watching him standing in the kitchen in boxers and making me onion jam. Or that man who brought me to a remote island for a week of playtime. Or that man who cooked me elaborate meals then fed them to me in bed. Or that one who made me laugh over every topic imaginable. Or that one who got me talking, ME, about the things I never talked about.

(How did he do that? I would ask him. "How did you start the conversation and then get me to do all of the talking about sensitive topics I rarely discuss?" He would smile this knowing smile and shrug and then wave his hand and do it all over again.)

My mother always said that in a relationship, you get to pick your problems. Would I prefer a functional alcoholic or a man who refuses to take medicine to balance his brain or a man who insists on living off the grid--no car, no credit cards and no rules?

No thanks.

Single and alone has never scared me.